Yesterday was Christmas and I didn’t get anything. But it’s cool cuz as long as my daughter got something, I’m happy. My boyfriend got her some cute little toys that kept her occupied her for awhile. Oh wait, my boyfriend did get me the Spongebob Suqarepants edition of Monopoly.It was the perfect gift, now that I think about it becuase it’s my favorite board game combined with my favorite underwater sea creature.

There was really nothing I wanted for Xmas anyway. But I’m glad that the New Year is coming in. A new year is a chance to start over and change things. It’s like a breath of fresh air.I don’t know if I really have resolutions, but I know that I want to go back to school and possibly work, if I can work around my mother’s schedule. She’s going back to work after a ten month hiatus( I think that’s the right word.). But that’s all.

I decided that I’m going to go back to college. I’m currently enrolled in a business institute but it only offers an A.O.S (whatever that is). Yesterday my mother and I went to look at a new house and while we were in the real estate waiting for one of the brokers to get the keys to the house, I got into a conversation with one of the other real estate brokers. She explained to me that she too was a teenager when she had her daughter (who is 17 years old) and went to college. She said that it was better to have a degree like an associates, bachelor’s or master’s, rather than a sort of degree where it’s for one thing and that’s it. She said I should go to college where my class schedule is flexible. 

So today, I started looking around for colleges that offer the major I’d like to do(journalism) and I decided that Brooklyn College and Medgar Evers are the best ones. I have been to Brooklyn College on a campus tour/information session and I loved everything about it. But the only thing that stopped me was that the high school average that was required to attend as a freshman was 85 and my high school average was 75. So the young lady from the real estate told me to do two semesters at Medgar Evers and then transfer to Brooklyn. I thought that was a good idea, so I’m going to do it.

The only issues I have are; I owe the Long Island Business Institute $261.33 ; I am going to have to pay I think an $85 application fee for Medgar Evers. i won’t be paying that money, my mom will, and she doesn’t get qa check until January so LIBI and Medgar Evers are going to have to wait until then. Not really sure what I’m going to until then, probably try to get Amani’s daycare reinstated because I’m definitely going to need it once I start school.

I had let her daycare services go becuase I was here at home with Amani during the day and when I had to go to school my mom kept her. Now, my mom is returning to work and me to school so I definitely need it again.Hopefully everything will go smoothly as it is written here. Pray for me, people!

So this morning, I called one of my married lovers and told that I aborted the fake baby I was pregnant with. Guess what his response was? “Thank You. Anything you want, I got you”. Now even though I lied about being pregnant what the hell kind of response is that? He made it sound like I gave him a gift. Ain’t that some crazy bullshit? I told him not to thank me and that I just gave up a child for him. He says “Be nice”. I’m like whatever. He says he will call me l8er on today. Most likely after he gets off of work. I know this asshole doesn’t give a shit about me and everytme I’m about to quit him, he sasy how I’m different from the rest. I don’t know how the fuck I could love him. Anytime I say that to his face, in the back of his mind, he’s probably laughing his ass off. Wow, I’m probably the biggest dumbass on the planet.

So, I lied to my married lover and told him that  he got pregnant. I know, that was a terrible thing to do but I wanted to see what he would say. Okay, so let’s go back briefly. About three weeks ago we had unprotected sex and he wanted to discuss what we should do in the event that I turned up preggers. Obviously, he wanted me to get rid of it and he said if I got pregnant again, then it was a sign from God, blah, blah, blah. So I told him what was what and he asked me if I wanted to keep it. I told him “It doesn’t matter what I want, it only matters what has to be done”. He replied, “Damn good answer”. I was so mad. I told him I had an appointment to get the situation taken care of on Monday.

Even though I’m supposed to be pregnant by him, he still wants to be involved with me. That’s the part I found most interesting. Why? I’m not sure but I did. He wants to talk more about it either tomorrow or Monday. I’ll let you know what’s up then, ok?

So I’v decided to write a book. I’m not sure what the subject is going  to be but I’m pretty excited about it. I love writing so I can’t wait to actually get started. I was thinking about writing a book about myself but if I do that, my whole family will probably never talk to me again. Maybe a nice fiction novel or maybe I could write about me but not as me. I wonder if you can have memoirs at the age of 19. I don’t know but later on today I’m going to go do some research and see what’s what.If anyone can throw some ideas my way that would be great.